Early to Bed

These days I find I have to get about ten hours of sleep. If I expect to be able to go to work, I have to hit the sheets early. Somewhere around 8:00 pm I start wrapping it up, brush my teeth, wriggle into my nightgown, fill the hotwater bottle, and fall exhausted into bed.

I sleep soundly for at least three or four hours, after which any noise the boys are still producing wakes me momentarily. I am grumpy if awakened, and grouse out loud about reasonable behavior of students and getting lights out and being quiet.

It is an unnatural sleep. Dreams are weird if realistic and leave one trying to remember if things really happened or if they were only figments of chemo / radiation induced coma sleeping. Sometimes I find myself dreaming that I am going to the bathroom only to awaken and find that I have. Rats.

This is not a reversion to baby days. If it were, I would be able to take short naps throughout the day. But I cannot. Sometimes my muscles cramp so hard I am jerked out of a deep sleep and have to jump to an upright position to keep my legs from spasming.

It is just a phase, I tell myself. Another wrinkle of recovery. It will eventually calm down. No need to rush out and get more Pampers. I will be glad when it passes. I would hate to think that I will waste so much time sleeping for the rest of my time here on God's green earth!

More Bloodwork

Every Monday I have labwork done to check my levels and make sure nothing has dropped to an unacceptable level. Today the nurse asked me how I was feeling, and I mentioned that I am quite tired and that my mouth is so dry that I wake up in the night with my throat stuck to itself. I can barely speak for the dryness and carry a bottle of water around, sipping constantly.

She laughed and said those are the two most common complaints of people who have been given Bexxar! Well, at least I am on track and these are not rogue symptoms. She explained that she was still getting to know about Bexxar side effects because so few people have it that it takes a long time to know what the norms are.

She also said that the full effects on my immune system would not appear until 6 to 9 weeks after the last injection! Yikes! That means I continue to be at risk until well after Thanksgiving. There go any plans to visit Mom and Dad. Things can go sour quickly, and I need to be where I can get help if I need it - and by help one means possible blood transfusions.

It was a bit of a shock, but at least I know what to look for. Meanwhile, I stay on the antiviral prescriptions and the stomach meds. I figure if it takes 6 months of treatment, it will take at least 6 months of recovery. I am just thankful I am on the up side of it all.

Choral Tribute

Richard Gladwell hosted a national radio program called With Heart and Voice, a show of choral and organ music, for more than three decades. He passed away in October from brain cancer, and today there was a service in his honor filled with excellent music.

The sanctuary was crowded almost to capacity. Latercomers were hard pressed to find a seat. Before the service began, a brass ensemble played, followed by Madrigalia, a select choral ensemble. What peaceful music saturated the air.

The service itself was an Evensong, and the musical portions all well known selections of comfort for those who were close to the departed, such as Sir Hubert Parry’s I Was Glad, How Lovely is Thy Dwelling Place from the Brahms Requiem, Steal Away as sung by Jessye Norman, John Rutter’s Requiem and hymns by Stanford and Vaughan Williams - all music Mr. Gladwell appreciated and loved.

Evensong is a late afternoon, early evening service that is mostly choral music, appropriate for Mr. Gladwell since he was of British heritage and such services are common in England.

Though I never met Mr. Gladwell, my heart was deeply touched by the choral music presented in his honor and memory. There is something universal about music, particularly church music that has withstood the test of time and is in some way uplifting at times of sorrow and loss, reminders that there is a reality beyond our world against which one brushes when honoring a loved one who has been translated into the realm beyond our knowing.

It is comforting to know that the best of his radio programs will be kept at the Library of Congress for future generations to enjoy. I look forward to the time when they are made available online and plan to listen to many of them.