That Can't Be Good

Call next Friday they told me after the bone biopsy. Hopefully the results of your bone biopsy will be back after a week. Today is Friday. Doesn't seem as if it has been a whole week. I am still struggling to feel well. Combination of the toothache, biopsy, antibiotics and pain meds. And maybe the gloomy skies and steady rain all day.

Well, I put it off as long as I could. Voice lessons and Reference Desk hours in the morning, lunch with Kiel, statistics to finish before Monday's staff meeting - I could dream up a thousand excuses. But my curiosity finally got the better of me. Even though I don't want to know, I need to know.



I call the number for lab and test results (the system at Wilmot is sometimes hard to figure out). "Wilmot Cancer Center. This is Cheryl." I explain my situation. She takes my information and looks me up. "Phone number?" I give her my cell, quickly changing it from vibrate to LOUD so I don't miss their call. I have already missed one call from them yesterday because I didn't hear the phone go off.



"I'll give your number to the nurses." Hum. Seems like if it had been good - clean - nothing to worry about, she would have told me on the spot. "DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS!" I tell myself sternly. It's probably just protocol. Receptionists don't have the authority. . .



I try to finish statistics. I am just getting into it when my cell rings. It's the clinic. I wait for the second ring before answering. Goodness, I am being silly. I am sure whatever it is, God will be with me. "Hi, Esther. This is JoAnn, one of Dr. Young's nurses. Dr. Young is not in today, and I am not clear whether she will call you with the results or if you need to come in and speak with her. I'm going to confirm that on Monday. We'll call you then with either an appointment or to tell you when she will call you. OK?"



NO! Its not OK. Can't you give me a hint? Some idea of what's going on? You can't seriously leave me dangling all weekend! But she does not give me a chance to say anything. She quickly hangs up. Am I being paranoid? Does it seem as if there is something serious going on here and no one wants to have to say it to me?



Oh, shut up! Regardless, there is no sense stewing and fussing. I will find out something hopefully on Monday and not before. I still feel fine. I am still in good shape. Nothing has changed except my hope being unanswered, and that's not a big deal. Just focus on work and maintain your calm trust.



Deep breath. I am fine. Still, there is that nagging little voice in the back of my head . . . RESET - they told you they would call you on Monday and let you know how to access the results!

Lasagna!

What a lovely surprise! One of the women in the evening service I attend so thoughtfully made us a lasagna dinner and brought it to the Library last night as I was getting out of work. It was so perfect. The boys drooled all the way home as the delicious smells tantalized our palates.

It didn't take three shakes for them to dig in once we got home. Fresh bread, salad and the most mouth watering concoction got piled on plates. I passed on the salad, but thoroughly enjoyed the rest, including the brownies for dessert!

I sat in the blue chair with my feet up and took my time savoring every single bite. What a treat! No cooking, no fussing, no "store-bought" cardboard taste. How wonderful. The room was very quiet, save for the sighs of contentment, as we each enjoyed the repast.

Her gesture of kindness was much appreciated. Am I not the most blessed person you ever met?

Down to a Dull Roar

Finally! My tooth has calmed down to a mere ache. The antibiotic (which I got for free from Wegmans!) must be strong because it makes my stomach hurt and I have to run to the bathroom constantly. I am taking full strength yogurt with it - none of this skimmed or fat free stuff.

It's really hard to focus when you are battling pain. The meds sap all my energy until just breathing is sometimes demanding. I keep moving though. Because I can. What with all the recent testing, I may reach a point where I am back in treatment and won't be able to put one foot in front of the other. So I press through while I am free to do so.

It gives me a whole renewed appreciation for people with things like Fibromyalgia and other sorts of constant pain. Life can be hard when you find no relief. I renewed my efforts to reach out to my neighbor who is struggling with that. I think she might come to church with me on Easter.

I just hope when I do see the dentist that the whole thing doesn't get all stirred up again. I hope I don't lose the tooth, but I have to get it taken care of before any treatments begin. That's for sure. How does that song go? Smile when your tooth is aching . . .