Perpsective

Change is the only thing we can count on these days. Everything is changing. The staff here are struggling with how to function given all the change they have been through. New Building. New Organizational Structure. New responsibilities. More traffic through the door and at the desk. New courseware to learn and use. New technology to get comfortable with. New protocols, new levels of service. More work. More students. I am sympathetic towards their struggles to adjust.

For me, the workload here is less than half what I have handled in other places, the stress so much less. But I know how difficult it can be to have the rug pulled out from under your feet and not know which end is up. So I have asked them to list all the changes. Then I asked them to list everything that did not change. At first, they could only list one or two things. With a bit of prompting, the list grew and grew until they finally saw that what had not changed was much more than what *had* changed.

See the big picture - the light at the end of the tunnel begins to glow a bit. You could almost hear the gears turning. WHAT we do has not changed all that much. Just HOW we are doing it now. And that will continue to evolve as things always have. I think of my Grandmother's lifetime. She started out with horse and buggy and ended up with rockets on the moon. She began with a garden in the back yard and ended up with supergrocery stores. She was born before telephones, and ended up with email (even though she personally didn't use it). What a huge paradigm shift she went through. Slowly.

And that seems to be the issue now. The shifts happen so quickly its hard to get any perspective on what will be long term and what will be a flash in the proverbial pan. So when you feel overwhelmed, list the things that are predictable and unchanged. It does help to keep perspective.

PDA

I don't usually witness much public display of affection. Seems I am not in the kinds of places where that behavior occurs. Nor do I have a lot of friends who are in relationships just starting out. But today as I was heading to VAC to do my lunchtime track walking, I passed a couple locked in a tight embrace.

They were standing on the sidewalk by an older white car shedding its rust quietly on the slushy pavement. He was a good two feet taller than she, and unbending. She had wrapped her arms around his waist, reaching a bit up to do so. She was clinging on for dear life, as if they were separating never to see each other again. I wondered if the relationship were ending, so desperate her hold on him.

It reminded me of when my kids were little, and they used to wrap themselves around my leg and hang on, riding along as I walked, giggling with glee at the up and down motion - sort of like experiencing a carnival ride. We would laugh together, and sometimes I would hold on to their shoulders to keep them from falling off.

Finally, the young man bent down giraffe-like and planted a kiss on the top of her head. She lifted her face to his, craning her neck straight upwards. They kissed again, mouth to mouth, rather sloppily as they each struggled to keep their balance in their off-kilter positions. He gently disentangled himself from her arms and stepped back, he on the curb, she on the pavement, adding to the discrepancy in height.

There they stood for some minutes, not talking, not touching, not even looking at each other. Then he turned and strode off towards the gym, reaching it before I did. She stayed standing there on the parking lot a while after he disappeared through the double glass doors.

I wondered what was happening to her. Was it a life-shattering goodbye? A simple disagreement? A power struggle? Whatever it was, she sighed and wandered off, shoulders slumped and bag dragging the ground. A terrible time to have issues, the final week of class what with papers and exams and winding down the semester on top of holiday activities.

Thank God I am not going through such trama! Though of course, it never gets any easier, relationships. And quite frankly, it is nice to see positive and gentle pda - a wee bit of hand holding, a gentle touch on the shoulder, a peck on the cheek. These I see among the long time couples that are still very much in love. How reassuring to know there are some who survive and flourish. As they say, hope springs eternal. I hope someone tells her.

The Walker

She was neither young nor old, though judging by her gait, she must have been ninety. Slightly bent at the waist, rigid and fragile, she tottered slowly across the walkway from the athletic center to the parking lot, stepping gingerly around snow drifts and leaning on the arm of her companion.

I recognized the walk immediately - the posture of someone in a great deal of pain. I have been there. I remember it well. Though I was a tad late getting back to the library after lunch, I did not mind waiting for her to cross. It is no fun being in pain, expending all your energy just to accomplish simple things like walking to the car. I suspect she was not even aware that there were cars lining up, wanting her to reach the other side so they could tear about their business.

How grateful I felt to be in the car and not dealing with the obvious physical distress of the one in the walkway. How fortunate she is to have a companion to help her, someone on whom she can lean. But I have to ask - what in the world was she doing at the gym! (I know, whirlpool, physical therapy on her own, other options I can't even think of).

God help us all stay healthy and not have to face overwhelming pain.