It means Star of the Sea. I had thought, being the name of a Catholic convent and retreat place, it might be making some reference to Mary, but there are mostly statues of St. Francis here. I had no idea such a place existed so close to Rochester. Skaneateles (think Scan - e - atlas, or if you are a native, Skin - e - atlas) is southwest of Syracuse, right on Skaneateles Lake, one of the Finger Lakes. It is a tranquil summer resort fairly close to everything one could want in a summer vacation while still being out away from it all.
Stella Maris is run by delightfully pleasant nuns. Some of them still wear the traditional black habits (I have not seen those in some long while). The rambling house is a treasure trove of beautiful artwork, comfy spaces and silence. The grounds are well kept and lead down a gentle slope to the lake itself. What a great place to have classes! Our D Min group is meeting here for the first time since our class began. Up until now, our work has unfolded online. Finally we meet face to face.
At first, we chat awkwardly, not sure how to intersect. But soon we are gabbing away, clustered around a table in the dining room overlooking the gorgeous lawns and lake. We will be together for a few years, and everyone is eager to know who they will be traveling this road with. We are 4 women and a dozen men from all over. 2 are from Canada, others from states like North Carolina and Ohio and Virginia. Some like me are from Rochester, others from New York cities such as Binghamton and Painted Post. All are pastors (except me), some seasoned, others fairly new. Some are chaplains also, or work for Intervarsity in addition to pastoring a congregation. All of us feel a bit like the proverbial deer in the headlights, not quite sure what is happening.
Coffee and pastries loosen the anxieties and together we head to the conference room for class. Who can concentrate with the beautiful view unfolding behind the professor? This setting sure soothes the soul. I hope we will have time to get outside and enjoy the peaceful environment. Right now, though, I must buckle down and get to work. It won't be easy to transform this repentant sinner into a recognizable image of Christ. I have not had the benefit of years of congregational sandblasting to smooth my rough edges. We shall see what transpires.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Charlotte Beach
Mark asked me about going to the beach. They really do want to check it out. So we gather our beach stuff and head out. I wasn't aware that there was a big barbecue event going on at Charlotte Beach. The parking lot was so jammed that it took us a half hour to find a space to park, and it was far from the beach. No matter. We head for the park area only to discover that there is a cover charge to get in to the event, and the space is fenced off.
We walk toward the carousel and discover that we can indeed get to the beach without having to pay to attend the event, so we skirt the hubbub and make our way through the masses of people to the boardwalk. The pier looms off to the right far into the foggy bay. I sure hope no one suggests we walk out there. I have visions of Ramseyes running under the rails and jumping into the briny deep.
The beach is peppered with sun bathers of all ages. Groups of adults are playing volleyball on the several courts set up in the sand. A father is burying his son in the sand. Two toddlers are squealing with delight every time the water washes up over their feet. A colorful beach ball is bounced from kid to kid on beyond the volleyball courts. Further down the beach several kites dance gracefully in the gentle breeze.
We claim a square of sand and plunk down, spreading out the towels. Drew sprays the kids with sun screen, then himself. Baby Shiloh stares about from the safety of her car seat. Fortunately, we are under the shade of a tree back away from the traffic. The noise is a background rumble punctuated by a shout here and there, or a parent yelling some child's name.
I sit next to Shiloh while Drew takes Ramseyes to the water. He is more interested in just running about on the sand, and Drew shadows him, helping avoid bumping into people or tripping over stuff. Mark and Faith lie down in the sun mid beach and promptly fall asleep. Hours pass. I feed the baby and change her (sand is everywhere!). I find the constant stream of people passing by interesting. A study in humanity at play. Some don't play too well. Others take to it like fish to water.
The boats out on the blue beyond the pier float lazily, sails fluttering. Occasionally a loud motor boat zooms past disturbing the tranquility. Smoky barbecue scents tantalize my taste buds, begging investigation, but I resist. Besides, Mark and Faith have taken a walk down the beach and I sure can't lug the baby with me into that teeming mass of people.
Drew comes by to beg me to change jobs with him. He needs a reprieve. I can't chase the typhoon for long. More hours pass in a blink. Drew and I are ready to call it quits and head home, but Mark and Faith are nowhere in sight. When they finally put in an appearance, they are loathe to leave. At last, they admit that the hour is late and the air chill. We pack our stuff and force our way through the thickening crowds. Now that it is evening, the event is in full swing and people are arriving by the droves. The thumping bass of the loud music blaring accompanies us all the way to the car. I am happy to be leaving.
Ah me. A day at the beach is not what it used to be. Still, Ramseyes had a blast though he shows no signs of tiring. And Mark and Faith are somewhat rested. Good. It has been a nice day. Now if we can just get all the sand out of our stuff, all will be well.
We walk toward the carousel and discover that we can indeed get to the beach without having to pay to attend the event, so we skirt the hubbub and make our way through the masses of people to the boardwalk. The pier looms off to the right far into the foggy bay. I sure hope no one suggests we walk out there. I have visions of Ramseyes running under the rails and jumping into the briny deep.
The beach is peppered with sun bathers of all ages. Groups of adults are playing volleyball on the several courts set up in the sand. A father is burying his son in the sand. Two toddlers are squealing with delight every time the water washes up over their feet. A colorful beach ball is bounced from kid to kid on beyond the volleyball courts. Further down the beach several kites dance gracefully in the gentle breeze.
We claim a square of sand and plunk down, spreading out the towels. Drew sprays the kids with sun screen, then himself. Baby Shiloh stares about from the safety of her car seat. Fortunately, we are under the shade of a tree back away from the traffic. The noise is a background rumble punctuated by a shout here and there, or a parent yelling some child's name.
I sit next to Shiloh while Drew takes Ramseyes to the water. He is more interested in just running about on the sand, and Drew shadows him, helping avoid bumping into people or tripping over stuff. Mark and Faith lie down in the sun mid beach and promptly fall asleep. Hours pass. I feed the baby and change her (sand is everywhere!). I find the constant stream of people passing by interesting. A study in humanity at play. Some don't play too well. Others take to it like fish to water.
The boats out on the blue beyond the pier float lazily, sails fluttering. Occasionally a loud motor boat zooms past disturbing the tranquility. Smoky barbecue scents tantalize my taste buds, begging investigation, but I resist. Besides, Mark and Faith have taken a walk down the beach and I sure can't lug the baby with me into that teeming mass of people.
Drew comes by to beg me to change jobs with him. He needs a reprieve. I can't chase the typhoon for long. More hours pass in a blink. Drew and I are ready to call it quits and head home, but Mark and Faith are nowhere in sight. When they finally put in an appearance, they are loathe to leave. At last, they admit that the hour is late and the air chill. We pack our stuff and force our way through the thickening crowds. Now that it is evening, the event is in full swing and people are arriving by the droves. The thumping bass of the loud music blaring accompanies us all the way to the car. I am happy to be leaving.
Ah me. A day at the beach is not what it used to be. Still, Ramseyes had a blast though he shows no signs of tiring. And Mark and Faith are somewhat rested. Good. It has been a nice day. Now if we can just get all the sand out of our stuff, all will be well.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Whirling Dervish
I remember when my boys were two. They were active, sure. And a bit stuck on the word 'no' and in constant exploration mode that sometimes got them in sticky situations (I have a picture of DJ covered head to toe with spaghetti complete with red sauce).
But Ramseyes is a perpetual motion machine. He never stops moving. If you make him be still, he falls asleep. I am tired just watching him. Kiel tries to keep up, but it is nearly impossible. I understand why Mark said he needed a break. With the demands of a new baby coupled with this constant go-go boy, I can't imagine either of them are anything but worn to a frazzle. They have asked permission to leave the kids with us while they go to a movie and we agree. I bet they fall asleep!
I think perhaps he has too much sugar in his diet or some sort of food allergy. Whatever it is that winds him up, I would be spending a lot of time figuring out how to make him slow down to some sort of normal. Of course, as the grandma, I can't really suggest that. But it sure wouldn't surprise me. Meanwhile, I make a cardboard map of a road and track just wide enough for his hot wheels vehicles. I sit at the table with him and a ton of little cars and trucks, and make car noises and drive different vehicles around on the map.
He catches on quickly, and we spend some time lining them up, jumping them, crashing them, passing them, putting them in color patterns etc. I make car noises, he copies them. He doesn't interact so much with me, but seems happy that someone is sitting with him and doing what he likes to do. The game continues some good while and I am surprised that he sits that long. He finally succumbs to hunger and exchanges the cars and map for a hot dog and applesauce. It was fun while it lasted.
As for the next round of running, I leave that to the boys.
But Ramseyes is a perpetual motion machine. He never stops moving. If you make him be still, he falls asleep. I am tired just watching him. Kiel tries to keep up, but it is nearly impossible. I understand why Mark said he needed a break. With the demands of a new baby coupled with this constant go-go boy, I can't imagine either of them are anything but worn to a frazzle. They have asked permission to leave the kids with us while they go to a movie and we agree. I bet they fall asleep!
I think perhaps he has too much sugar in his diet or some sort of food allergy. Whatever it is that winds him up, I would be spending a lot of time figuring out how to make him slow down to some sort of normal. Of course, as the grandma, I can't really suggest that. But it sure wouldn't surprise me. Meanwhile, I make a cardboard map of a road and track just wide enough for his hot wheels vehicles. I sit at the table with him and a ton of little cars and trucks, and make car noises and drive different vehicles around on the map.
He catches on quickly, and we spend some time lining them up, jumping them, crashing them, passing them, putting them in color patterns etc. I make car noises, he copies them. He doesn't interact so much with me, but seems happy that someone is sitting with him and doing what he likes to do. The game continues some good while and I am surprised that he sits that long. He finally succumbs to hunger and exchanges the cars and map for a hot dog and applesauce. It was fun while it lasted.
As for the next round of running, I leave that to the boys.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
A Walk in the Park
The lilac festival did not do well this year. They actually cancelled three of the days due to the persistent rain. I felt bad for the vendors. Its miserable to stand around in the pouring down wet just in case some crazy person might be interested in gawking at your merchandise. The boys and I missed our usual trek to smell the lilacs and have a round of fried dough.
But Highland Park is still in bloom somewhat this week, and I suggest that we take an afternoon stroll and let Ramseyes run out a bit of his energy there. I forgot that Mark has allergies to the pollen, especially of pine trees. There aren't a lot of pines, but many of the bushes are flowering. I forgot that it is quite hilly and at least manage to remember to park at the bottom so the trek back to the car won't be as bad as the trek from the car.
We walk together, one of the boys corralling Ramseyes, the other carrying the baby in her nip and nap. Mark and Faith hold hands and slow down when Mark needs to rest. He took medicine, but I am sure this is not easy for him. I feel badly and decide maybe we should cut it short. They insist on going to the top where we find a picnic table and sit gazing out over the pond, watching the ducks.
Ramseyes runs and runs and runs, chased first by Drew and then Kiel and then Drew again. It is pleasant in the shade and we can see the mountains far off in the distance. The sun glimmers on the water like so many sparkling diamonds. The breeze is light and refreshing. The grass is green and there are no flowering bushes nearby to set Mark off. We sit enjoying the peace and quiet, watching Ramseyes run about. Except for Kiel and Drew, everyone is enjoying the day. I imagine Ramseyes will be tired enough to sleep well tonight. What was I thinking??? It is Kiel and Drew who will sleep well.
Eventually, we wander back down the walkways to the car, just in time as it begins to rain lightly. I hope Mark is alright. Maybe the beach is a better environment for him. We will see what he thinks about the idea tomorrow. Right now, we need to feed these hungry kids. All of them!
But Highland Park is still in bloom somewhat this week, and I suggest that we take an afternoon stroll and let Ramseyes run out a bit of his energy there. I forgot that Mark has allergies to the pollen, especially of pine trees. There aren't a lot of pines, but many of the bushes are flowering. I forgot that it is quite hilly and at least manage to remember to park at the bottom so the trek back to the car won't be as bad as the trek from the car.
We walk together, one of the boys corralling Ramseyes, the other carrying the baby in her nip and nap. Mark and Faith hold hands and slow down when Mark needs to rest. He took medicine, but I am sure this is not easy for him. I feel badly and decide maybe we should cut it short. They insist on going to the top where we find a picnic table and sit gazing out over the pond, watching the ducks.
Ramseyes runs and runs and runs, chased first by Drew and then Kiel and then Drew again. It is pleasant in the shade and we can see the mountains far off in the distance. The sun glimmers on the water like so many sparkling diamonds. The breeze is light and refreshing. The grass is green and there are no flowering bushes nearby to set Mark off. We sit enjoying the peace and quiet, watching Ramseyes run about. Except for Kiel and Drew, everyone is enjoying the day. I imagine Ramseyes will be tired enough to sleep well tonight. What was I thinking??? It is Kiel and Drew who will sleep well.
Eventually, we wander back down the walkways to the car, just in time as it begins to rain lightly. I hope Mark is alright. Maybe the beach is a better environment for him. We will see what he thinks about the idea tomorrow. Right now, we need to feed these hungry kids. All of them!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Family Holiday
"Hi, Mom," the voice over the phone is strained. My son is calling to see if he and his family could visit for the holiday weekend. They need a break. I cautiously agree. I want to see them, of course. Especially the grandchildren. But my apartment is so small I can't imagine how we will contain a rambunctious 2 year old. My mind considers where we might go to let the little tyke stretch his legs. And where everyone will sleep! The two boys graciously assume they will be taking the floor in the living room.
Within the hour they begin their trek from Saratoga Springs to Rochester. I expect they will arrive in four hours or so, but time stretches out and they do not appear. The boys have rearranged the house to put the futon in the living room so at least one of them will have a bed. I made sure the kitchen floor was scrubbed shiny and the stuff in the bathroom put out of reach of little hands. We wait.
Seven hours from the time they left, they arrive, exhausted and bedraggled, except for Ramseyes who was raring to go, having been couped up in a car for so long. They stopped at every rest area to stretch his legs, but he just doesn't take well to travel. Never mind. They are here. I cuddle the baby and try to catch Ramseyes to give him a kiss he definitely does not want. After making sure they are all OK, I head off for bed. Tomorrow I will suggest a few parks if the weather holds. And I sure hope it holds. If it rains, we will have to do mall walking.
Within the hour they begin their trek from Saratoga Springs to Rochester. I expect they will arrive in four hours or so, but time stretches out and they do not appear. The boys have rearranged the house to put the futon in the living room so at least one of them will have a bed. I made sure the kitchen floor was scrubbed shiny and the stuff in the bathroom put out of reach of little hands. We wait.
Seven hours from the time they left, they arrive, exhausted and bedraggled, except for Ramseyes who was raring to go, having been couped up in a car for so long. They stopped at every rest area to stretch his legs, but he just doesn't take well to travel. Never mind. They are here. I cuddle the baby and try to catch Ramseyes to give him a kiss he definitely does not want. After making sure they are all OK, I head off for bed. Tomorrow I will suggest a few parks if the weather holds. And I sure hope it holds. If it rains, we will have to do mall walking.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Library Retreat
We met the day before to talk about the retreat. Will everyone come? Sometimes the time away is seen as superfluous, especially in light of the heavy work load so many of us carry. True, we are planning to do summer project organizing and detail who is doing what. But the getting our heads out of the sand and taking a look at the horizon part can feel a bit unnecessary.
I am delighted that almost everyone is here, and that after a bit of encouragement, they all participate fully. We have good clean productive conversations and every voice is heard and considered. No one feels undervalued. At last we have reached a point of trust after four years of being together through stressful and happy times, good and bad, unpleasant and celebratory. We know we can say what is really on our minds in an honest way and not be punished for speaking up. What a tremendous state to be in.
By the time lunch arrives, the atmosphere is one of a family gathering. This is extremely rare in the working world, even in this one. I bask in the harmony, knowing that the work we have accomplished here today will go well beyond the summer projects. We have made some good decisions, discovered a few areas where people had unmet needs that we were able to commit to meeting, and no one got upset about anything. All in all, a great retreat.
I am delighted that almost everyone is here, and that after a bit of encouragement, they all participate fully. We have good clean productive conversations and every voice is heard and considered. No one feels undervalued. At last we have reached a point of trust after four years of being together through stressful and happy times, good and bad, unpleasant and celebratory. We know we can say what is really on our minds in an honest way and not be punished for speaking up. What a tremendous state to be in.
By the time lunch arrives, the atmosphere is one of a family gathering. This is extremely rare in the working world, even in this one. I bask in the harmony, knowing that the work we have accomplished here today will go well beyond the summer projects. We have made some good decisions, discovered a few areas where people had unmet needs that we were able to commit to meeting, and no one got upset about anything. All in all, a great retreat.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Hymn Fest
Bless my soul, there is a student at Roberts from Africa who heard my testimony in chapel about cancer patients needing to be encouraged, and he asked what he could do to minister to my needs. We agreed to meet every week and sing a hymn or two together, letting the words be uplifting and remind us of God's grace.
He has been faithful in meeting with me every week to sing a hymn. We just stand in my office and use either one of my hymnals or the one he uses back home. I teach him hymns that I like, and he teaches me ones that he likes. His are wonderful. Some are a bit familiar, but I am struck by the richness of the texts. They are really encouraging and often straight out of Scripture with a metrical flavor.
I know some of the composers, but not the particular hymns. Other composers I have never heard of. I can imagine his church back home singing heartily. Most of the time I think they sing a Capella. He has a rich baritone which fills in the cracks of my squeaky soprano. Sometimes my voice does not cooperate at all. Other times I can actually sing. It has been more of a blessing than I realized when first we agreed to the hymn singing. I am thankful for his gift of music, for his time in blessing me, for his hymn vocabulary.
As I have gotten to know him a little, I am able to pray for him as well. He is working on finding his career path, on seeking what God has for him to do in the wide world. He attends the midday prayer meeting often, and his prayers flow filled with compassion and theology that is down to earth, so often just reminding us of God's greatness and goodness. I would not be surprised if he ended up as a minister, though he had originally thought of a medical career.
Wherever he ends up, I know he will be a blessing to those around him, and especially to those in need of encouragement. Thank God for his heart and his caring nature. Let us sing/pray.
He has been faithful in meeting with me every week to sing a hymn. We just stand in my office and use either one of my hymnals or the one he uses back home. I teach him hymns that I like, and he teaches me ones that he likes. His are wonderful. Some are a bit familiar, but I am struck by the richness of the texts. They are really encouraging and often straight out of Scripture with a metrical flavor.
I know some of the composers, but not the particular hymns. Other composers I have never heard of. I can imagine his church back home singing heartily. Most of the time I think they sing a Capella. He has a rich baritone which fills in the cracks of my squeaky soprano. Sometimes my voice does not cooperate at all. Other times I can actually sing. It has been more of a blessing than I realized when first we agreed to the hymn singing. I am thankful for his gift of music, for his time in blessing me, for his hymn vocabulary.
As I have gotten to know him a little, I am able to pray for him as well. He is working on finding his career path, on seeking what God has for him to do in the wide world. He attends the midday prayer meeting often, and his prayers flow filled with compassion and theology that is down to earth, so often just reminding us of God's greatness and goodness. I would not be surprised if he ended up as a minister, though he had originally thought of a medical career.
Wherever he ends up, I know he will be a blessing to those around him, and especially to those in need of encouragement. Thank God for his heart and his caring nature. Let us sing/pray.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Qi Gong
I miss my class. I had to stop for the ELUNA conference, and then chemo, and haven't been back since. My friend went, but the class had been cancelled, so neither of us has returned. I have a video of Tai Chi that I watched, but it moves slowly. I am not sure I can stand to work through the movements at that pace, even if the guy is standing on a great beach with the sand and sun and rolling surf. Maybe I should look in the library to see if there are other recordings that might just move through the workout without all the talk about how to do it.
It was helping really. I should find another class and go. Another thing I should do - I guess I need someone to drag me along. I asked Drew to see to it that I walk every day at least around the complex, but his schedule and mine don't jive and so far I have been the one making him walk around the complex. When he does go, he wants to run for conditioning for soccer playing in the fall. And I am not into running, no way, no shape, no how.
There is a solution. I will eventually figure it out. Right now though, I am thinking and hoping that when the pool opens I will have the temerity to swim at least on the week ends. I even asked my downstairs neighbor to go with me, hoping she would encourage me to go when I am more likely to pass. She agreed, but I know her arthritis doesn't do well with cold water, so I am suspecting we are both out of luck. Ah, well. Guess I should look for inspiration elsewhere.
It was helping really. I should find another class and go. Another thing I should do - I guess I need someone to drag me along. I asked Drew to see to it that I walk every day at least around the complex, but his schedule and mine don't jive and so far I have been the one making him walk around the complex. When he does go, he wants to run for conditioning for soccer playing in the fall. And I am not into running, no way, no shape, no how.
There is a solution. I will eventually figure it out. Right now though, I am thinking and hoping that when the pool opens I will have the temerity to swim at least on the week ends. I even asked my downstairs neighbor to go with me, hoping she would encourage me to go when I am more likely to pass. She agreed, but I know her arthritis doesn't do well with cold water, so I am suspecting we are both out of luck. Ah, well. Guess I should look for inspiration elsewhere.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Phone Interviews
Our candidate pool for our open librarian position is complete. No more applications are arriving. We have to decide who to consider and who to eliminate. It is a challenging process trying to match words on a paper with tasks on a job description. It is difficult to get a sense of person and skill sets from the scanty information on someone's resume. Some people look great on paper and end up not so great in person. Others look OK on paper and turn out to be wonderful.
We are moving to the next step in the process. Phone interviews. I remember from past experiences how challenging it is to get a sense of a person over the phone. Does a hesitation mean they don't know, they are struggling with making their words clear to a non-tech person, or they think before they speak? Does that mean anything at all in reference to competence? This may not be much more helpful. Wouldn't it be easy to just hire someone you know who is already doing the kind of job you need done? Maybe. People act differently in different settings. Someone who is fabulous at a large city institution may wither away at a small town place.
We call each candidate and chat, using the same questions. It does reveal more than I had hoped. Now we are ready to move on to bringing people on campus for face-to-face interviews. It is frustrating for the candidates that the academic hiring process takes so long. It isn't unusual for start to finish to be at least 6 months. Meanwhile, we are still holding our breath that nothing breaks in a major way. So far, Grace of God.
We are moving to the next step in the process. Phone interviews. I remember from past experiences how challenging it is to get a sense of a person over the phone. Does a hesitation mean they don't know, they are struggling with making their words clear to a non-tech person, or they think before they speak? Does that mean anything at all in reference to competence? This may not be much more helpful. Wouldn't it be easy to just hire someone you know who is already doing the kind of job you need done? Maybe. People act differently in different settings. Someone who is fabulous at a large city institution may wither away at a small town place.
We call each candidate and chat, using the same questions. It does reveal more than I had hoped. Now we are ready to move on to bringing people on campus for face-to-face interviews. It is frustrating for the candidates that the academic hiring process takes so long. It isn't unusual for start to finish to be at least 6 months. Meanwhile, we are still holding our breath that nothing breaks in a major way. So far, Grace of God.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Rest and Read
I did manage to get to church this morning, but I sat down a lot, and cancelled Children's Choir rehearsal. The mack truck hitting me didn't wait like it has in past experiences. I am definitely achy and tired and rubber legs. The choir is very solicitous of my well being and makes every effort to spare me from having to stand unnecessarily. They didn't realize the chemo is still happening. Same thing my library colleagues said. They forget I am still dealing with chemo.
I am glad this passes in a relatively short time. A week is not too bad. And thank goodness I did take my Vitamin B shot the morning of chemo before the treatment. Think how much more of a wham it would have been had I not been full up. So I will take it easy on myself today and just rest. Besides, I still have a lot of reading to do (and I am behind on my paper writing). Now that the headache is less pounding maybe I can catch up a bit.
I do rest, but the nap turns into an all day affair, and by evening when I am rousing to think about dinner, I am too fuzzy headed to read. All that will just have to go on hold, grades or no grades. I am after the info anyway, not the gpa. So I settle for a bowl of sweet juicy watermelon (not too much), a tall glass of cold water, and a soft roll with butter. Sugar and I curl up in the recliner and go gently into the evening surrounded by quiet since the boys are out playing frisbee golf.
Despite the long nap, I retire early. I will have no trouble falling asleep. The moon is shining, the dog keeps my feet warm, and the aching is subsiding. Tomorrow will be better. A slow recovery is better than no recovery. I will work on picking up the pieces later. Next week. All is well and all is well. Thanks be to God.
I am glad this passes in a relatively short time. A week is not too bad. And thank goodness I did take my Vitamin B shot the morning of chemo before the treatment. Think how much more of a wham it would have been had I not been full up. So I will take it easy on myself today and just rest. Besides, I still have a lot of reading to do (and I am behind on my paper writing). Now that the headache is less pounding maybe I can catch up a bit.
I do rest, but the nap turns into an all day affair, and by evening when I am rousing to think about dinner, I am too fuzzy headed to read. All that will just have to go on hold, grades or no grades. I am after the info anyway, not the gpa. So I settle for a bowl of sweet juicy watermelon (not too much), a tall glass of cold water, and a soft roll with butter. Sugar and I curl up in the recliner and go gently into the evening surrounded by quiet since the boys are out playing frisbee golf.
Despite the long nap, I retire early. I will have no trouble falling asleep. The moon is shining, the dog keeps my feet warm, and the aching is subsiding. Tomorrow will be better. A slow recovery is better than no recovery. I will work on picking up the pieces later. Next week. All is well and all is well. Thanks be to God.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Amasong 20th Anniversary
I rise late and mostly sit in the blue recliner resting. I had so wanted to attend Amasong's 20th anniversary celebration, but there is no way I could consider traveling even if the chemo had gone well. I had already sent my apologies and a song that I wrote for the occasion (too late for them to try to sing Sisters of the World for the concerts). Maybe they will try it sometime. Still, it would have been wonderful to hear the choir again, to see people and find out how things are going with them.
Their new director Meagan Johnson Smith has been great. They are prospering under her direction. As well, the founding director Christina Boerger will be there, and I would have liked to have chatted with her as well. No matter. I am constantly having to curtail activity due to the chemo and cancer disabilities, but that is for the extras, not the norms. I am grateful that I can do my job(s) here and that is a blessing indeed.
I have completed one year of the four maintenance years. Three more to go. If my body is able to withstand it, perhaps I shall be able to go to Amasong's 25th anniversary! By then I suspect the kids will all be living on their own and I will be a bit less impacted on a daily basis. That might leave a bit extra for the special events.
At any rate, I wish them well. I can't wait to hear how it goes, and maybe even a recording of the event. I shall have to ask if that is possible. Congratulations, ladies. Ya done good.
Their new director Meagan Johnson Smith has been great. They are prospering under her direction. As well, the founding director Christina Boerger will be there, and I would have liked to have chatted with her as well. No matter. I am constantly having to curtail activity due to the chemo and cancer disabilities, but that is for the extras, not the norms. I am grateful that I can do my job(s) here and that is a blessing indeed.
I have completed one year of the four maintenance years. Three more to go. If my body is able to withstand it, perhaps I shall be able to go to Amasong's 25th anniversary! By then I suspect the kids will all be living on their own and I will be a bit less impacted on a daily basis. That might leave a bit extra for the special events.
At any rate, I wish them well. I can't wait to hear how it goes, and maybe even a recording of the event. I shall have to ask if that is possible. Congratulations, ladies. Ya done good.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Chemo Day
Here we go again. I am ready, my pink bag packed. I bring a book to read (assigned reading for the Doctor of Ministry program I have started - yikes! not the hefty stuff you have to plough through like running through a tank of molasses with at least 3 passes, just the meaty interesting stuff I can understand after one reading), a bag of presents from the church mice (promises of both entertainment and goodies to eat), my comfy blankie, fresh water (the more the better), and my trusty adult level dot-to-dot book.
The last two times have not been so bad, so I expect this to go as well. Maybe I can take it at full bore. I cheerfully turn my chair to face the window which offers blue skies and green trees. Yes. I set up my water and book, wrap in my blanket and open the first present. My nurse is someone who usually does my port flushes, so we know each other. But with the new online system, not all my previous experiences with Rituxan are in the database. She offers me pre-chemo meds that are not beefy enough. I question her. Don't I get Decadron?
She kindly believes me and goes to check the paper files. Yes. I have gotten that the past two times. Dr. Young is out of town, but she finds the head nurse and they manage to get permission to do what has been done in the past. Good. I mention the need for IV fluids and she graciously hangs a bottle at my request. I am thankful she is not offended by my statements. After all, she does this for a living and I am just one patient. On the other hand, I have come to know my body fairly well, and I am glad she permits me to speak up.
Unfortunately, the day does not go well. The meds give me a terrible headache, and after only an hour, I begin to react. My feet are numb, my joints hurt, my tongue is itchy. My blood pressure is elevated, then drops, elevated then drops. She stops the Rituxan and lets the IV clear things up. I open another present - a mouse who says "Wow" when you squeeze his tummy. I squeeze him at every bad turn. He is eloquent in expressing my disappointment.
We try again at a slower pace, but in just a few minutes I am struggling. Rats. Squeeze mouse. We stop and I rest. She suggests more Benadryl, and I accept until I realize she is planning on the IV stuff. I tell her about my proclivity to faint from that, and she pulls in another nurse to see how to handle it. The pills will take too long to take effect.
I learn a new technique. Instead of pushing the Benadryl directly into me, they hang it on the IV bag and push it into the saline drip. It takes a full ten minutes to dispense mixed that way, but I have no fainting spells. I am delighted to find a way to take that stuff without the immediate impact I usually get. We begin again at the slowest pace and leave it there. This will be a long day and the farther I get into it, the worse I feel. Squeeze mouse. I haven't had this strong a reaction since the beginning. Must be working hard to keep that cancer at bay.
Finally the last of the Rituxan drips out and I am on the flushing out side of the chemo. I am only too glad to disconnect and wobble out into the lobby. I have been doing chemo on my own a few times, but I think I will bring someone with me next time. This one was a doozie. I really just want to go home and lie down for a long time.
The last two times have not been so bad, so I expect this to go as well. Maybe I can take it at full bore. I cheerfully turn my chair to face the window which offers blue skies and green trees. Yes. I set up my water and book, wrap in my blanket and open the first present. My nurse is someone who usually does my port flushes, so we know each other. But with the new online system, not all my previous experiences with Rituxan are in the database. She offers me pre-chemo meds that are not beefy enough. I question her. Don't I get Decadron?
She kindly believes me and goes to check the paper files. Yes. I have gotten that the past two times. Dr. Young is out of town, but she finds the head nurse and they manage to get permission to do what has been done in the past. Good. I mention the need for IV fluids and she graciously hangs a bottle at my request. I am thankful she is not offended by my statements. After all, she does this for a living and I am just one patient. On the other hand, I have come to know my body fairly well, and I am glad she permits me to speak up.
Unfortunately, the day does not go well. The meds give me a terrible headache, and after only an hour, I begin to react. My feet are numb, my joints hurt, my tongue is itchy. My blood pressure is elevated, then drops, elevated then drops. She stops the Rituxan and lets the IV clear things up. I open another present - a mouse who says "Wow" when you squeeze his tummy. I squeeze him at every bad turn. He is eloquent in expressing my disappointment.
We try again at a slower pace, but in just a few minutes I am struggling. Rats. Squeeze mouse. We stop and I rest. She suggests more Benadryl, and I accept until I realize she is planning on the IV stuff. I tell her about my proclivity to faint from that, and she pulls in another nurse to see how to handle it. The pills will take too long to take effect.
I learn a new technique. Instead of pushing the Benadryl directly into me, they hang it on the IV bag and push it into the saline drip. It takes a full ten minutes to dispense mixed that way, but I have no fainting spells. I am delighted to find a way to take that stuff without the immediate impact I usually get. We begin again at the slowest pace and leave it there. This will be a long day and the farther I get into it, the worse I feel. Squeeze mouse. I haven't had this strong a reaction since the beginning. Must be working hard to keep that cancer at bay.
Finally the last of the Rituxan drips out and I am on the flushing out side of the chemo. I am only too glad to disconnect and wobble out into the lobby. I have been doing chemo on my own a few times, but I think I will bring someone with me next time. This one was a doozie. I really just want to go home and lie down for a long time.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
No Clean Sweep for You
Every year the college proclaims a cleanup day called Clean Sweep. We are encouraged to organize and straighten, neaten and toss unnecessary or outdated materials, spruce up our workspaces after a long hard demanding academic year. The idea is to leave the place is excellent shape before you leave on summer break so that when you return in the fall, everything will be good to go. Not that we get a summer break mind you.
This year, we are still eyeball deep in end of semester activity. We are also working on any number of activities related to hiring a new librarian, sussing out the summer projects and getting them launched, setting aside time for facilities to resurface stone flooring pits and clean the furniture upholstery. We have little time for neatening and straightening.
I have good intentions. I thought I might at least shuffle the paperwork into neat piles and tuck out of sight anything that I am not currently needing. But suddenly, there was the person with the white (nay, yellow) gloves coming in the door with his assistant with the clipboard. Too late. No time now to make nice. We greet him and chat a bit. All day staff have been repotting the plants we have in our building, and the back room table is strewn with potting soil, old pots, and dead plants.
No blue ribbon for the library. That's OK. We are doing an inventory this summer and I am much more concerned with making sure the books are in order and accounted for than I am with whether my file drawers are clean and organized. I will do the sweep stuff in July when I have time to really do it well. There will be no judge to give out a prize, but I can live with that. The real prize is a well functioning uncluttered fully relevant collection with all the labels right.
This year, we are still eyeball deep in end of semester activity. We are also working on any number of activities related to hiring a new librarian, sussing out the summer projects and getting them launched, setting aside time for facilities to resurface stone flooring pits and clean the furniture upholstery. We have little time for neatening and straightening.
I have good intentions. I thought I might at least shuffle the paperwork into neat piles and tuck out of sight anything that I am not currently needing. But suddenly, there was the person with the white (nay, yellow) gloves coming in the door with his assistant with the clipboard. Too late. No time now to make nice. We greet him and chat a bit. All day staff have been repotting the plants we have in our building, and the back room table is strewn with potting soil, old pots, and dead plants.
No blue ribbon for the library. That's OK. We are doing an inventory this summer and I am much more concerned with making sure the books are in order and accounted for than I am with whether my file drawers are clean and organized. I will do the sweep stuff in July when I have time to really do it well. There will be no judge to give out a prize, but I can live with that. The real prize is a well functioning uncluttered fully relevant collection with all the labels right.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Drew and the Dentist
I didn't see at first how nervous Drew was about this dentist appointment. He dragged his feet getting ready, took time to actually eat breakfast (something he rarely does), and climbed in the car reluctantly. He sat back and closed his eyes. I just thought he hadn't quite managed to get awake yet.
I pulled into the parking lot, and he, tall man that is he, opened the doors for me like a gentleman should. I checked him in and we sat together facing the flat screen TV. He fiddled with his pockets, shifted uneasily in his chair, and struck up a conversation about any odd thing he could think about - angelology, soteriology, eschatology - good Lord. I finally asked him if he was nervous.
He let out a huge sigh and fessed up. He hates shots, and was terrible worried that he would have to have one. We talked about his fears for awhile, and though rationally he knew it really isn't all that big a deal, he was still worked up in a knot over it. I suggested he find a Bible verse or phrase that he could repeat to himself that might help him not be so afraid. He said he already had one in mind, but just couldn't focus on it.
I reached over and rubbed his back and he leaned into it like a cat, nearly purring his appreciation. When I stopped in ten minutes or so, he said "I didn't say you could stop." We both laughed and it seemed to ease his mind. It is true. It's easier to face something challenging and fearful when there is someone with you, and the physical contact can really help. I have been blessed to have good friends hold on to me while I was undergoing stuff. Sissy held my feet while I had my pick line installed, and Sherri held my feet while I had my stomach biopsy done. It reinforces knowing that someone else cares and will look out for you as much as they can.
Turns out, he had an plan assessment done today with the dentist, so no shots were required. We were merely mapping out a strategy for getting the work done with the least amount of distress and money. Good. The dentist told him again that he was committed to making the treatment as painless as possible. I signed the plan and off we headed, a much relieved Drew and a more concerned Mom who now has to come up with the moolah!
I pulled into the parking lot, and he, tall man that is he, opened the doors for me like a gentleman should. I checked him in and we sat together facing the flat screen TV. He fiddled with his pockets, shifted uneasily in his chair, and struck up a conversation about any odd thing he could think about - angelology, soteriology, eschatology - good Lord. I finally asked him if he was nervous.
He let out a huge sigh and fessed up. He hates shots, and was terrible worried that he would have to have one. We talked about his fears for awhile, and though rationally he knew it really isn't all that big a deal, he was still worked up in a knot over it. I suggested he find a Bible verse or phrase that he could repeat to himself that might help him not be so afraid. He said he already had one in mind, but just couldn't focus on it.
I reached over and rubbed his back and he leaned into it like a cat, nearly purring his appreciation. When I stopped in ten minutes or so, he said "I didn't say you could stop." We both laughed and it seemed to ease his mind. It is true. It's easier to face something challenging and fearful when there is someone with you, and the physical contact can really help. I have been blessed to have good friends hold on to me while I was undergoing stuff. Sissy held my feet while I had my pick line installed, and Sherri held my feet while I had my stomach biopsy done. It reinforces knowing that someone else cares and will look out for you as much as they can.
Turns out, he had an plan assessment done today with the dentist, so no shots were required. We were merely mapping out a strategy for getting the work done with the least amount of distress and money. Good. The dentist told him again that he was committed to making the treatment as painless as possible. I signed the plan and off we headed, a much relieved Drew and a more concerned Mom who now has to come up with the moolah!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Dad
Today would have been Dad's birthday. It is hard to believe that he has been gone for over a year already. I expect Mom will have a hard time this whole week. She will deny that she is feeling blue because of missing Dad. Somehow she finds it unacceptable to be sad about Dad having left this earth before her. She thinks it is silly to cry because it just means you are feeling sorry for yourself.
But it is the nature of humans to have feelings, and sad ones are equally as valid as happy ones. I am sure she didn't think it inappropriate to feel happy when she was celebrating her anniversaries when Dad was alive. Even Jesus cried about Lazarus being dead. He empathized with Mary and Martha about their loss and their sorrow.
Well, Mom is Mom and she will deal with her loss her own way, be that a few days of shutting down and thinking that she can't eat or finding it impossible to move around as well as she did last week. How hard life can be when the person you have spent 60 years with is suddenly not there any more. It must be like having an excruciating toothache with no relief in sight. Enough to make you want to tear your hair out!
Once we move past Dad's birthday, she will be able to retrieve the distance necessary to try to deal with herself. If only I could find a magic wand, wave it over her, and see her better. Alas, I have nothing that will help her out. I can only watch her hurt and not be able to console her. I am beginning to understand why Joseph's father Israel mourned the loss of his son for years and hovered over Benjamin so protectively.
And why the brothers became so eager to shelter their father from any further pain and sorrow. They knew he would simply pine away and die of a broken heart. And that is surely what Mom has - a broken heart. Perhaps that is all I can do for Mom. Become sheltering and try to ease her pain by preventing her from having to experience any more loss in her life. That will be hard because she will soon need to sell her house to pay for her care. I wonder how she will be able to let go of the place where all her memories reside. Or maybe that will help. Its so hard to know.
But it is the nature of humans to have feelings, and sad ones are equally as valid as happy ones. I am sure she didn't think it inappropriate to feel happy when she was celebrating her anniversaries when Dad was alive. Even Jesus cried about Lazarus being dead. He empathized with Mary and Martha about their loss and their sorrow.
Well, Mom is Mom and she will deal with her loss her own way, be that a few days of shutting down and thinking that she can't eat or finding it impossible to move around as well as she did last week. How hard life can be when the person you have spent 60 years with is suddenly not there any more. It must be like having an excruciating toothache with no relief in sight. Enough to make you want to tear your hair out!
Once we move past Dad's birthday, she will be able to retrieve the distance necessary to try to deal with herself. If only I could find a magic wand, wave it over her, and see her better. Alas, I have nothing that will help her out. I can only watch her hurt and not be able to console her. I am beginning to understand why Joseph's father Israel mourned the loss of his son for years and hovered over Benjamin so protectively.
And why the brothers became so eager to shelter their father from any further pain and sorrow. They knew he would simply pine away and die of a broken heart. And that is surely what Mom has - a broken heart. Perhaps that is all I can do for Mom. Become sheltering and try to ease her pain by preventing her from having to experience any more loss in her life. That will be hard because she will soon need to sell her house to pay for her care. I wonder how she will be able to let go of the place where all her memories reside. Or maybe that will help. Its so hard to know.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Catching Up
First day back after the conference. I have kept up with email while I was away, so there are no surprises. Just lots of followup. Yesterday, I came home from church and took a long nap, so you would think I would be rested and ready to go. Instead, I am dragging around energyless. I am counting the day until I can take my Vitamin B shot. I chalk the exhaustion up to the pernicious anemia.
Last time I saw the doctor, I tried to suggest that maybe I need to take this shot more often, or a stronger dose, but somehow I don't think she understood what I was trying to say. Sigh. I guess the bloodwork will have to be the trigger to change if it is necessary. Anyway, that might not be the cause. I am discovering, and have told my kids that I now have the body of a 90 year old. I just wish I could give it back!
Seriously, the most important thing about catching up is touching base with my staff and colleagues, hearing about the events and challenges of the past week, making my intervention list and my follow through agenda. Then of course, just getting back into the swing of meetings and desk hours. It is good to be back even though I thoroughly enjoyed the conference and the change of venue and pace.
Last time I saw the doctor, I tried to suggest that maybe I need to take this shot more often, or a stronger dose, but somehow I don't think she understood what I was trying to say. Sigh. I guess the bloodwork will have to be the trigger to change if it is necessary. Anyway, that might not be the cause. I am discovering, and have told my kids that I now have the body of a 90 year old. I just wish I could give it back!
Seriously, the most important thing about catching up is touching base with my staff and colleagues, hearing about the events and challenges of the past week, making my intervention list and my follow through agenda. Then of course, just getting back into the swing of meetings and desk hours. It is good to be back even though I thoroughly enjoyed the conference and the change of venue and pace.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Cardinal Complaint
I awake with the first rays of light, and after a few minutes, decide to stop resisting beginning the day. I open my Divine Hours and begin reading. Out of the corner of my eye, I see something move. A flash of red. A bouncing tree branch. And a trill of angry bird song assaults my ears. I put down my book and move closer to the window, peering out into the misty morning.
A beautiful cardinal hovers inches from the glass, rising and falling with the motion of the thin branch he is perched on. His song is loud and insistent. I think he is complaining about the rain as today is yet again another gloomy rainy chilly day. I don't blame him. I long for a glimpse of blue, a bit of warmth. I remind myself that it is spring and that's what spring does around here. Lots of rain. I should be grateful it is not snow!
My little warbler keeps it up for some time, flicking his wings when they become water logged, and dancing on the branch, facing first one direction then another, his tail twitching, his eyes darting this way and that. Why doesn't he go somewhere more sheltered, I wonder. Surely there are places he could get out of the rain. Even perching on a window ledge under the overhang of the roof would be less soggy for him. My window ledge is just inches from his little feet. But he does not budge.
How like him I sometimes am. In the midst of trouble pouring down on me, I just sit there and complain rather than do something about it. It's silly, of course. I guess sometimes you just want to yell into the storm. Which is alright I suppose, as long as you don't drown.
A beautiful cardinal hovers inches from the glass, rising and falling with the motion of the thin branch he is perched on. His song is loud and insistent. I think he is complaining about the rain as today is yet again another gloomy rainy chilly day. I don't blame him. I long for a glimpse of blue, a bit of warmth. I remind myself that it is spring and that's what spring does around here. Lots of rain. I should be grateful it is not snow!
My little warbler keeps it up for some time, flicking his wings when they become water logged, and dancing on the branch, facing first one direction then another, his tail twitching, his eyes darting this way and that. Why doesn't he go somewhere more sheltered, I wonder. Surely there are places he could get out of the rain. Even perching on a window ledge under the overhang of the roof would be less soggy for him. My window ledge is just inches from his little feet. But he does not budge.
How like him I sometimes am. In the midst of trouble pouring down on me, I just sit there and complain rather than do something about it. It's silly, of course. I guess sometimes you just want to yell into the storm. Which is alright I suppose, as long as you don't drown.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Surprise!
I came home on Kiel's birthday and had brought no present. Bummer. I am not good a getting birthday remembrances to the recipient in a timely way. I managed to mumble Happy Birthday before my exhausted body hit the mattress and I zonked out. But today I will make up for my misdeeds. I sneak around with Drew and gather celebratory stuff. A gift card (he needs gas for the car), a cheesecake (his favorite), fixings for a steak dinner including fresh corn on the cob (which I can't eat, oh, well).
We are very underhanded about getting it all ready without him having any idea. And at the last minute, tah-dah! We sprang it on him. His face lighted up like a full moon. Though he is really a man, underneath is still the heart of a boy who takes great delight in having a party. He blew out his candles with great gusto. We even rented a movie he wanted to see, and took him out for a walk and conversation.
Hopefully he will remember the fellowship and forget the delay in delivery.
We are very underhanded about getting it all ready without him having any idea. And at the last minute, tah-dah! We sprang it on him. His face lighted up like a full moon. Though he is really a man, underneath is still the heart of a boy who takes great delight in having a party. He blew out his candles with great gusto. We even rented a movie he wanted to see, and took him out for a walk and conversation.
Hopefully he will remember the fellowship and forget the delay in delivery.
Friday, May 13, 2011
No Place Like Home
The conference is over. My mind is reeling with a plethora of newly acquired information while still concerned to get home in one piece. A group of us stand in front of the hotel waiting our turn to board the bus to the airport. The wind whips our clothes like so many flags. The temperature has dropped so low I wonder if I should put on a few more shirts to stay warm. Where did the nice sunny weather disappear to?
On board the van, I sit back quietly, listening to my fellow passengers bemoan the bad weather that has cancelled all flights out of Chicago. I cannot thank the good Lord enough for making me decide to avoid Chicago and go through Detroit. Even if everything goes smoothly, I won't get home until midnight. But I guess I would rather be stranded in Detroit than Chicago with its uber teeming masses and scarcity of hotel rooms. I silently ask the good Lord to be with me and care for me whatever may arise. Gone are the thoughts that flights are not delayed in the summer (spring).
The flight to Detroit is on time and full. I am grateful for an aisle seat and a skinny rowmate. We take off smoothly, and the flight is uneventful. In Detroit, I have an hour to get from my landing gate to the boarding gate, and good thing because it was clear on the far side of the airport! I took all the moving walkways and it still took me almost twenty minutes to get there.
As I settled into my seat, the airline hostess announced that the flight was overbooked, and they were offering good money for someone to spend the night in a comp hotel room and fly out in the afternoon tomorrow. I just couldn't even consider such a thing despite my lack of deadlines. They announced it repeatedly, about every five minutes. No takers. A few people inquired, but didn't bite. I made myself think about how I could use the voucher to visit my grand daughters, but my body was saying "no way."
Right before we were to board, two people took them up on the offer, both young, both obviously students. Good. I am sure they can use the money. And I am more than happy to board when they call. The flight is full, but short. I have never been so happy to see the boys and tumble into the car and head home. Its true what Dorothy says. There really is no place like home.
On board the van, I sit back quietly, listening to my fellow passengers bemoan the bad weather that has cancelled all flights out of Chicago. I cannot thank the good Lord enough for making me decide to avoid Chicago and go through Detroit. Even if everything goes smoothly, I won't get home until midnight. But I guess I would rather be stranded in Detroit than Chicago with its uber teeming masses and scarcity of hotel rooms. I silently ask the good Lord to be with me and care for me whatever may arise. Gone are the thoughts that flights are not delayed in the summer (spring).
The flight to Detroit is on time and full. I am grateful for an aisle seat and a skinny rowmate. We take off smoothly, and the flight is uneventful. In Detroit, I have an hour to get from my landing gate to the boarding gate, and good thing because it was clear on the far side of the airport! I took all the moving walkways and it still took me almost twenty minutes to get there.
As I settled into my seat, the airline hostess announced that the flight was overbooked, and they were offering good money for someone to spend the night in a comp hotel room and fly out in the afternoon tomorrow. I just couldn't even consider such a thing despite my lack of deadlines. They announced it repeatedly, about every five minutes. No takers. A few people inquired, but didn't bite. I made myself think about how I could use the voucher to visit my grand daughters, but my body was saying "no way."
Right before we were to board, two people took them up on the offer, both young, both obviously students. Good. I am sure they can use the money. And I am more than happy to board when they call. The flight is full, but short. I have never been so happy to see the boys and tumble into the car and head home. Its true what Dorothy says. There really is no place like home.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Ale House Rock
Tonight we have a dinner at a local pub. Though buses are provided, a group of us decided to walk the not-quite mile to the little grill. We entered the already full wooden building, immediately being immersed in loud music and louder conversations. We stepped up to the bar to order free drinks (I ordered the local root beer since it was so good at the opening reception), then wandered around trying to find someplace to sit. The tables were full to overflowing, even out on the deck overlooking the river.
At last we spotted a small table in a back room and quickly plunked ourselves down, stealing a few unused chairs from nearby. We were delighted to realize that we were just around the corner from the buffet table where a repast of Mexican and other goodies was being set up. We decided to stand in line in shifts so we wouldn't lose the table. Good thing, too, because more and more people were making the swing through the building looking for a place to sit.
The food was excellent, if a bit spicy for my tummy, and the conversation - or should I say the shouting - was informative. I learned about how the group started, where it had met, who had done what, and everything in between. We chatted happily until it was almost dark, then realized that if we were going to walk back, we should head out. Fortunately, this was before the Karaoke began!
I was glad we hadn't delayed our departure any longer than we did. Several times I wondered at the wisdom of walking back through some less than inviting sections. No one talked to us except one homeless person who asked for money (I followed the actions of my walkmates and crossed the street, pretending not to see or hear him. My conscience hurt, but I was too afraid to stop).
The hotel looming in the next block was a most welcomed sight, and I scurried to my room, full of pizza, conversation, lights, and the river. From my window, I could see the last vestiges of sunset, painting the sky glorious pinks and oranges and reds. All in all, a great day.
At last we spotted a small table in a back room and quickly plunked ourselves down, stealing a few unused chairs from nearby. We were delighted to realize that we were just around the corner from the buffet table where a repast of Mexican and other goodies was being set up. We decided to stand in line in shifts so we wouldn't lose the table. Good thing, too, because more and more people were making the swing through the building looking for a place to sit.
The food was excellent, if a bit spicy for my tummy, and the conversation - or should I say the shouting - was informative. I learned about how the group started, where it had met, who had done what, and everything in between. We chatted happily until it was almost dark, then realized that if we were going to walk back, we should head out. Fortunately, this was before the Karaoke began!
I was glad we hadn't delayed our departure any longer than we did. Several times I wondered at the wisdom of walking back through some less than inviting sections. No one talked to us except one homeless person who asked for money (I followed the actions of my walkmates and crossed the street, pretending not to see or hear him. My conscience hurt, but I was too afraid to stop).
The hotel looming in the next block was a most welcomed sight, and I scurried to my room, full of pizza, conversation, lights, and the river. From my window, I could see the last vestiges of sunset, painting the sky glorious pinks and oranges and reds. All in all, a great day.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Unexpected Bonus
I had no idea that I would run into people I know and have worked with in other places. What a terrific bonus! The best conferences are the ones you attend with friends, and by sheer good fortune, I am blessed to be with friends old and new. I found a friend from UIUC in the butterfly room at the opening reception, another friend from UConn at the opening plenary session during break while they were tempting us with hot coffee and fresh fruit. Then friends from Princeton and other places at lunch.
How encouraging to catch up with other libraries and hear how people have retired or been promoted or married or had children. In the midst of good presentations, it is a breath of fresh air to connect. The presentations are very enlightening. I am learning rapidly, and they make it easy for those of us who are not particularly fluent in techie geek lingo. But somehow the learning is easier when you are sitting next to someone you know. Nice. A wonderful bonus.
How encouraging to catch up with other libraries and hear how people have retired or been promoted or married or had children. In the midst of good presentations, it is a breath of fresh air to connect. The presentations are very enlightening. I am learning rapidly, and they make it easy for those of us who are not particularly fluent in techie geek lingo. But somehow the learning is easier when you are sitting next to someone you know. Nice. A wonderful bonus.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
ELUNA
Our systems position is open at the moment. We are in the process of accepting applications and deciding who to interview, but there is no one from the library qualified to do this work. We are sliding along on a prayer. Still, we have a contract with a vendor to transfer our server to an off site hosted environment, and somebody needs to get a handle on the process.
I appear to be the logical candidate to attend the techie conference and try to figure out what is going on and what direction we ought to be heading. So I volunteered since I am as curious as the next person (and there really was no one else who could go). OK. I haven't traveled much since my treatments, and my energy levels, though not terrible, are not back to where I would like to see them be. But I will do the best I can to get onboard with the tech stuff.
This year the conference is in Milwaukee, not far from my Concordia stomping grounds. At least it is familiar territory. My flight out was uneventful and smooth, and the hotel is amazing! The room is a refuge with all the comforts and then some. I definitely feel out of my element as far as the program is concerned, but everyone I have met has been very friendly. Perhaps this will not be as foreign as I feared.
I arrive in plenty of time for the opening reception which is at the Milwaukee Public Museum where we have the entire first floor to explore. All along the various areas there are food stations offering delectable items that Milwaukee is well known for - German repasts of sausages and sauerkraut, beer, breads, cheeses (of course!) and various yummy mouth watering foods. We wander along early American streets, gazing in the shop windows of pioneer type pharmacies, toy stores, homes and other displays as we munch ourselves happy.
Even in the dinosaur display there are local root beers and ginger beers to sample as well as frozen custards to try. The best room was the butterfly room filled with fluttering creatures of all sorts flitting from tree to bush to clothing. You have to exit into an anteroom and check yourself in the mirror from all angles to make sure you don't take any critters out with you.
I eavesdrop on conversations about what is new or challenging at various libraries as old friends catch up with each other. I have made a number of new acquaintances including a couple from New Zealand and a gentleman from Africa. I am beginning to get a sense of the unusual constituency of this particular organization.
It promises to be an amazing conference. I just could be glad I came.
I appear to be the logical candidate to attend the techie conference and try to figure out what is going on and what direction we ought to be heading. So I volunteered since I am as curious as the next person (and there really was no one else who could go). OK. I haven't traveled much since my treatments, and my energy levels, though not terrible, are not back to where I would like to see them be. But I will do the best I can to get onboard with the tech stuff.
This year the conference is in Milwaukee, not far from my Concordia stomping grounds. At least it is familiar territory. My flight out was uneventful and smooth, and the hotel is amazing! The room is a refuge with all the comforts and then some. I definitely feel out of my element as far as the program is concerned, but everyone I have met has been very friendly. Perhaps this will not be as foreign as I feared.
I arrive in plenty of time for the opening reception which is at the Milwaukee Public Museum where we have the entire first floor to explore. All along the various areas there are food stations offering delectable items that Milwaukee is well known for - German repasts of sausages and sauerkraut, beer, breads, cheeses (of course!) and various yummy mouth watering foods. We wander along early American streets, gazing in the shop windows of pioneer type pharmacies, toy stores, homes and other displays as we munch ourselves happy.
Even in the dinosaur display there are local root beers and ginger beers to sample as well as frozen custards to try. The best room was the butterfly room filled with fluttering creatures of all sorts flitting from tree to bush to clothing. You have to exit into an anteroom and check yourself in the mirror from all angles to make sure you don't take any critters out with you.
I eavesdrop on conversations about what is new or challenging at various libraries as old friends catch up with each other. I have made a number of new acquaintances including a couple from New Zealand and a gentleman from Africa. I am beginning to get a sense of the unusual constituency of this particular organization.
It promises to be an amazing conference. I just could be glad I came.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Good News
Today I will hear my scan report. I admit a bit of nervous stomach as I head to the lab for a port draw before the doctor appointment. As usual, I breathe a sigh of relief at the first sign of red tinge indicating that the port is in good working order and I will not have to stand on my head to get it to work. Then I head back down the hallway toward the waiting area for my appointment.
For a change, they call me within minutes of checking in, and usher me to a consultation room. I chat with the nurse a few minutes as she updates my records. They have a new system that provides instant online access to everything. No more paper charts. The nurse gets all my meds, past and present, accounted for and verified. A one time only event, then it will all be accessible at the push of a button. She struggles a bit to remember how to navigate and where to find the lists of meds to select from.
Then she swishes out, the door closing behind her, and I am left alone, thoughts racing, heart thumping. I am sure everything is fine. I am sure there is nothing new going on. But I will be at ease after I hear it from the doctor's mouth.
She breezes in, and asks how my recital went. We chat about recordings of the Lord's Prayer (she collects various versions) and she would like a recording of my recital [I am still trying to get something valid from Kiel]. At last, she turns to the business at hand. Together, we pour over the computer screen while she clicks here and there, fumbling a bit at the new interface. We finally come to the latest report.
It's clean. A good report. Yes, there are evidences of the treatment, the most prominent being a slight hernia from the biopsies in the abdominal area. But the enlargement that showed up last time is shrinking. It all looks good. Levels are good. Sweet! I am to keep on the chemo regimen for 3 more years. Then we will assess next steps. So in a week, the final chemo of year one, but we are good to go. Yes!
For a change, they call me within minutes of checking in, and usher me to a consultation room. I chat with the nurse a few minutes as she updates my records. They have a new system that provides instant online access to everything. No more paper charts. The nurse gets all my meds, past and present, accounted for and verified. A one time only event, then it will all be accessible at the push of a button. She struggles a bit to remember how to navigate and where to find the lists of meds to select from.
Then she swishes out, the door closing behind her, and I am left alone, thoughts racing, heart thumping. I am sure everything is fine. I am sure there is nothing new going on. But I will be at ease after I hear it from the doctor's mouth.
She breezes in, and asks how my recital went. We chat about recordings of the Lord's Prayer (she collects various versions) and she would like a recording of my recital [I am still trying to get something valid from Kiel]. At last, she turns to the business at hand. Together, we pour over the computer screen while she clicks here and there, fumbling a bit at the new interface. We finally come to the latest report.
It's clean. A good report. Yes, there are evidences of the treatment, the most prominent being a slight hernia from the biopsies in the abdominal area. But the enlargement that showed up last time is shrinking. It all looks good. Levels are good. Sweet! I am to keep on the chemo regimen for 3 more years. Then we will assess next steps. So in a week, the final chemo of year one, but we are good to go. Yes!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Pine Cone Boom
In the chill of early morning, as Sugar and I make our morning business trip, I am shivering and draw my sweater close about me, tucking the collar around my neck and holding it in place with my chin. Sugar dabbles about, sniffing this spot and burying her nose in that clump of grass. I tug her leash impatiently, but she has no interest in hurrying. She is determined to thoroughly explore the world to uncover new and interesting activity since last she was out. I wonder what she is learning. I am positive there are deer, possum, birds, other dogs, cats and maybe a fox or two who have left their calling cards.
As I shift from one leg to another, waiting for Sugar's investigation to end, I glance up at the pine tree near my car. Wow! It is loaded with baby pine cones. Some of the branches are so loaded down that they are sagging dangerously close to break point. The entire tree from lower branches to the tippy top is covered in cones. What a banner crop. I have never seen so many baby pine cones before.
Sugar finally is on the move and we head down the road. Now my interest is peaked and I stare at all the different pine trees. About every other one sports a coat of cones dangling like fringe from every green branch. They are tiny now, but once they grow, these trees will be laden more than any decorated Christmas icon. And I suspect the brown patch beneath the branches will be littered with juicy squirrel crudites. I can almost picture the little critters sitting on their haunches nibbling away like some elite food critic, detecting every nuance of the cone seed overtones and undermusks.
Right now, though, I need to quit counting the cones and get my frigid self back inside where I can thaw out! And perhaps investigate why there is such a bumper crop of cones this year. Any ideas?
As I shift from one leg to another, waiting for Sugar's investigation to end, I glance up at the pine tree near my car. Wow! It is loaded with baby pine cones. Some of the branches are so loaded down that they are sagging dangerously close to break point. The entire tree from lower branches to the tippy top is covered in cones. What a banner crop. I have never seen so many baby pine cones before.
Sugar finally is on the move and we head down the road. Now my interest is peaked and I stare at all the different pine trees. About every other one sports a coat of cones dangling like fringe from every green branch. They are tiny now, but once they grow, these trees will be laden more than any decorated Christmas icon. And I suspect the brown patch beneath the branches will be littered with juicy squirrel crudites. I can almost picture the little critters sitting on their haunches nibbling away like some elite food critic, detecting every nuance of the cone seed overtones and undermusks.
Right now, though, I need to quit counting the cones and get my frigid self back inside where I can thaw out! And perhaps investigate why there is such a bumper crop of cones this year. Any ideas?
Saturday, May 7, 2011
He Made It!
This day has been long in arriving. Kiel started his college career thinking he would be a physical therapist for children. Soon though, he realized that there is no particular specialty involving children, and he would have to take every age, heavy on the senior citizen generation. Then he tried being a physical education teacher, but the field experience he was assigned was with junior high inner city kids, and that was the end of that. Next he tried communication with a heavy interest in media, where he dabbled in making video clips for Sunday School classes and junior church groups. He liked it, but the papers were too much for him. In the end, out of default and desperation, he settled for a BA in Liberal Arts.
The college here has a policy of allowing a student to graduate (walk) even if they have up to 9 more hours to complete, so Kiel was eligible to walk this year. And walk he did. What an amazingly handsome young man. No one would have realized he was 26. He looks the same age as the rest of the students graduating. Maybe a tad younger even. It has been a long and frustrating road for him. And of course, he still has 3 classes to complete over the summer.
And what does he hope to do with this degree? He would love to continue working in the day care center where he has been part time over the last few years. He really enjoys working with kids, especially younger ones. And they are attracted to him as well. He is bright and caring and creative and accepting and they all love his attention and engagement.
But that doesn't pay a heck of a lot of money, so he is looking for a kindergarten teacher position. In NYS, you need certification which he does not have. He is looking elsewhere, but also into the certification process. He is adamant that more school will kill him. He is probably right. He gets A's when his sleep issues are under control, so he is not stupid by any means. He just finds that actually living is more important.
Right on, son. Thank you for hanging in there until you got the degree. And now, go find your niche and be happy. Love ya lots, MOM
The college here has a policy of allowing a student to graduate (walk) even if they have up to 9 more hours to complete, so Kiel was eligible to walk this year. And walk he did. What an amazingly handsome young man. No one would have realized he was 26. He looks the same age as the rest of the students graduating. Maybe a tad younger even. It has been a long and frustrating road for him. And of course, he still has 3 classes to complete over the summer.
And what does he hope to do with this degree? He would love to continue working in the day care center where he has been part time over the last few years. He really enjoys working with kids, especially younger ones. And they are attracted to him as well. He is bright and caring and creative and accepting and they all love his attention and engagement.
But that doesn't pay a heck of a lot of money, so he is looking for a kindergarten teacher position. In NYS, you need certification which he does not have. He is looking elsewhere, but also into the certification process. He is adamant that more school will kill him. He is probably right. He gets A's when his sleep issues are under control, so he is not stupid by any means. He just finds that actually living is more important.
Right on, son. Thank you for hanging in there until you got the degree. And now, go find your niche and be happy. Love ya lots, MOM
Friday, May 6, 2011
Last Day
How can this semester be over already? We just started only a few weeks ago. But here we are in the thick flurry of activity as students make a mad dash to the finish line. On the final week of class, when exams and papers are all due, we find more students in the building than ever before. Though we extend our closing hour from midnight to 1am, there are still tons of students in here until the last possible second. The evening building person has to repeatedly encourage people to leave.
It won't last though. In past years, there was great activity on Monday and Tuesday, petering away on Wednesday and by Friday, basically nothing going on. Last year and this year, the activity goes straight through Thursday and on into Friday morning at least. By the afternoon, we are down to a handful of students who have the misfortune of being scheduled for an exam on a Friday afternoon.
It's rather like running full bore towards a goal line, only to discover once you reach it that you have run over the edge of a cliff. Now what? The running part has ended, but you have to get your bearings, turn yourself upright, and set off in a different direction. For us, in the library, that means summer projects - doing all those things we cannot do during the semester, but that make the semester run smoothly. So we will plan it out, and hit the ground running. At least, that's the idea.
It won't last though. In past years, there was great activity on Monday and Tuesday, petering away on Wednesday and by Friday, basically nothing going on. Last year and this year, the activity goes straight through Thursday and on into Friday morning at least. By the afternoon, we are down to a handful of students who have the misfortune of being scheduled for an exam on a Friday afternoon.
It's rather like running full bore towards a goal line, only to discover once you reach it that you have run over the edge of a cliff. Now what? The running part has ended, but you have to get your bearings, turn yourself upright, and set off in a different direction. For us, in the library, that means summer projects - doing all those things we cannot do during the semester, but that make the semester run smoothly. So we will plan it out, and hit the ground running. At least, that's the idea.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Ten Cavities
I have now given up on the dental school clinic for the boys even though their dental needs are not as unusual as mine. Seems like they just never get the same person anymore, and its frustrating to begin at the very beginning every time they have an appointment. So I took Drew to see my new dentist. Poor Drew. He was nervous as a cat. He hates needles, and even though this was just a cleaning and assessment, he was worried that he would have to have a shot.
The hygenist put him at his ease though, and chatted about soccer and school and things not dental while she took x-rays and cleaned his mouth up, something we have not addressed in awhile what with all the other craziness and commitments.
Then the dentist came to get me so he could talk to both of us at once. He had digital photos of Drew's teeth, and those pictures revealed a lot! I have to say it is not pretty to see the insides of your mouth all lighted up and documented. Yuck! But the dentist told Drew that he understands about needles and pain, and his goal is to see that Drew does not experience anything uncomfortable while being treated. Drew can ask him to stop at any time if he needs to.
Bottom line is that Drew has ten cavities (how can that be since he only had 1 unaddressed cavity according to the other clinic!?). And his teeth are soft, just asking for more trouble to develop. So the plan is to fix the little cavities (and the one big one) while at the same time reinforcing the soft areas with a sealant. Sigh. I am happy Drew is comfortable with this dentist and willing to get things taken care of. All I have to do is come up with the moolah!
The hygenist put him at his ease though, and chatted about soccer and school and things not dental while she took x-rays and cleaned his mouth up, something we have not addressed in awhile what with all the other craziness and commitments.
Then the dentist came to get me so he could talk to both of us at once. He had digital photos of Drew's teeth, and those pictures revealed a lot! I have to say it is not pretty to see the insides of your mouth all lighted up and documented. Yuck! But the dentist told Drew that he understands about needles and pain, and his goal is to see that Drew does not experience anything uncomfortable while being treated. Drew can ask him to stop at any time if he needs to.
Bottom line is that Drew has ten cavities (how can that be since he only had 1 unaddressed cavity according to the other clinic!?). And his teeth are soft, just asking for more trouble to develop. So the plan is to fix the little cavities (and the one big one) while at the same time reinforcing the soft areas with a sealant. Sigh. I am happy Drew is comfortable with this dentist and willing to get things taken care of. All I have to do is come up with the moolah!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Blue Skies
Today the sky is - I search for the right descriptor - cerulean? azure? aquamarine? baby blue? robin's egg blue? cyan? denim blue? air force blue? iris blue? iceberg blue? royal blue? YES!!! all of the above swirled together to create a delightfully sunny true sky blue, the likes of which lifts your spirit from the doldrums of winter to the heights of spring.
I know we say we are in the pink when we are feeling well, but I could as easily reinterpret "feeling blue" to mean that I am happy, well, energized. Especially if the blue were the color of this morning's sky. Such a blue is far from depressing. Not a hint of wispy white cloud. Just wide open sky straight up into the stratosphere where surely we can glimpse into the very heavens themselves. It makes the flimsy white slip of still visible moon seem touchable, as if I could just reach up and stroke the shimmering thinness. Wouldn't that be a joy?
Maybe this is the kind of sky that David sat under when he penned:
The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
In any case, it promises to be a wonderful day. Surely summer is not far away.
I know we say we are in the pink when we are feeling well, but I could as easily reinterpret "feeling blue" to mean that I am happy, well, energized. Especially if the blue were the color of this morning's sky. Such a blue is far from depressing. Not a hint of wispy white cloud. Just wide open sky straight up into the stratosphere where surely we can glimpse into the very heavens themselves. It makes the flimsy white slip of still visible moon seem touchable, as if I could just reach up and stroke the shimmering thinness. Wouldn't that be a joy?
Maybe this is the kind of sky that David sat under when he penned:
The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
In any case, it promises to be a wonderful day. Surely summer is not far away.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Scans
Ah, yes. The quarterly CT scan to see if the ugly lymphoma is trying to raise its nasty little head. Not a bad procedure, really. Nothing to eat or drink 4 hours before the test. Drink 2 containers of barium gunk over the course of an hour before the scan. Then 5 minutes for the 2 dips in the machine. Followed by the usual week's wait for the results from the oncologist.
I mention my scan to a friend and she grimaces. No, no, this is not scary, just routine. Oh, OK. Her relief is palpable. I smile, but in truth, I do have moments of concern despite there being no reason for thinking there is anything to worry about. I purpose to set such thoughts aside and not give them any leeway.
Today my appointment is at 5pm. Usually I have early morning appointments, so this is not my norm. The waiting room is full - mostly people waiting on someone who is in the back getting a test. A smiling technician appears with my 2 bottles of barium. I know the drill. He shakes the pudding out of the first container and pours me a cocktail with a flourish. I think of my friends on the French Rivera, and pretend that I am sharing drinks with them instead!
I glance at the carefully written schedule. Drink one glass of white lubricant at 5, 5:10, 5:20, [end of bottle one] 5:30, 5:40, 5:50. End of bottle 2. Done. The flat screen monitor blares the day's news about Bin Laden's death and recovery efforts in Japan (who would want to go inside that hot reactor?) while I imbibe. I take my time, savoring the slight hint of orange and mint in the gooey stuff.
The radiologist whisks me back, delighted that I don't need to strip out of anything (never wear anything with metal to these shindigs - no bra hooks, no zippers, nada). She instructs me to hoist my fat little butt up on the tongue of the scanner, then straps me in for the ten minute ride. First the neck area, then the chest and abdomen. Zip, zip. I watch the whirling sprockets, doodads and gizmos circle my face, spinning faster, then slower, the inching until just the right part is belly up.
Lights blink. A calm woman's voice, recorded of course, tells me to take a deep breath in and hold it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You can breathe. Whoosh! I exhale. The radiologist's voice floats towards me from somewhere over my head. All done. She extracts me from the machine and lowers the board on which I am helplessly ensconced. Velcro rips as she releases me. Insert earrings, retrieve purse, and I am out the door and on my way home.
Not bad. Although supper will have to wait a bit. I am too full to consider eating anything just yet.
I mention my scan to a friend and she grimaces. No, no, this is not scary, just routine. Oh, OK. Her relief is palpable. I smile, but in truth, I do have moments of concern despite there being no reason for thinking there is anything to worry about. I purpose to set such thoughts aside and not give them any leeway.
Today my appointment is at 5pm. Usually I have early morning appointments, so this is not my norm. The waiting room is full - mostly people waiting on someone who is in the back getting a test. A smiling technician appears with my 2 bottles of barium. I know the drill. He shakes the pudding out of the first container and pours me a cocktail with a flourish. I think of my friends on the French Rivera, and pretend that I am sharing drinks with them instead!
I glance at the carefully written schedule. Drink one glass of white lubricant at 5, 5:10, 5:20, [end of bottle one] 5:30, 5:40, 5:50. End of bottle 2. Done. The flat screen monitor blares the day's news about Bin Laden's death and recovery efforts in Japan (who would want to go inside that hot reactor?) while I imbibe. I take my time, savoring the slight hint of orange and mint in the gooey stuff.
The radiologist whisks me back, delighted that I don't need to strip out of anything (never wear anything with metal to these shindigs - no bra hooks, no zippers, nada). She instructs me to hoist my fat little butt up on the tongue of the scanner, then straps me in for the ten minute ride. First the neck area, then the chest and abdomen. Zip, zip. I watch the whirling sprockets, doodads and gizmos circle my face, spinning faster, then slower, the inching until just the right part is belly up.
Lights blink. A calm woman's voice, recorded of course, tells me to take a deep breath in and hold it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You can breathe. Whoosh! I exhale. The radiologist's voice floats towards me from somewhere over my head. All done. She extracts me from the machine and lowers the board on which I am helplessly ensconced. Velcro rips as she releases me. Insert earrings, retrieve purse, and I am out the door and on my way home.
Not bad. Although supper will have to wait a bit. I am too full to consider eating anything just yet.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Last Week Flurry
The Library is buzzing with activity. This morning when I arrive to open, there are a dozen students waiting to be let in. How unusual! I open 15 minutes early, I am so happy to see them.
Every computer is occupied. The clacking of keys punctuates the air as people pummel out papers and create bibliographies. We are down to the wire now. Small clusters of students gather here and there to complete group projects. In the quiet area every table is filled with students focused on notebooks and study guides, preparing for exams. There is a hushed undertone of angst.
Few eat at Garlock, preferring instead to load a Styrofoam tray and cart their food into the Library so they can continue cramming in the relatively quiet atmosphere conducive to such work. I love it! This is how busy we should be all the time. Here where the crux of classroom and dormitory lies, where friends sweat it out together, creating the almost palpable growth of mind and heart. Here where students are transformed to be able to shape and serve the world.
We partner with them in their work. Coming alongside wherever and however we are able. We cannot do their work for them, but we can help smooth out the kinks and knots so they can move forward. Yes, this last week of the semester is what it comes down to just before the doors open and recess is declared.
After which, it will be much easier to find a parking space [smile].
Every computer is occupied. The clacking of keys punctuates the air as people pummel out papers and create bibliographies. We are down to the wire now. Small clusters of students gather here and there to complete group projects. In the quiet area every table is filled with students focused on notebooks and study guides, preparing for exams. There is a hushed undertone of angst.
Few eat at Garlock, preferring instead to load a Styrofoam tray and cart their food into the Library so they can continue cramming in the relatively quiet atmosphere conducive to such work. I love it! This is how busy we should be all the time. Here where the crux of classroom and dormitory lies, where friends sweat it out together, creating the almost palpable growth of mind and heart. Here where students are transformed to be able to shape and serve the world.
We partner with them in their work. Coming alongside wherever and however we are able. We cannot do their work for them, but we can help smooth out the kinks and knots so they can move forward. Yes, this last week of the semester is what it comes down to just before the doors open and recess is declared.
After which, it will be much easier to find a parking space [smile].
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Farewell To Bethany
I remember the day we met at Church. We were having a job fair. Each activity in the Church had set up a table in the fellowship hall showing what they do and inviting people to join. I had set up the music table and had been trying to persuade people to join. I especially worked on some Roberts students who attend church and are music majors, but they declined, professing that their dance cards were already too full.
Then this quiet girl very softly said, "I'll sign up." That's nice. Its alright if you can't. Wait - what? You actually want to join choir? Yeah!!! And she gave me her contact information. That was three years ago, and she has been singing faithfully with us ever since.
What a joy to work with her. She also plays flute wonderfully, and I gladly added the instrumental component to our music as often as I could. She was a very enthusiastic supporter who was constantly encouraging others to join and often advertised our music endeavors on campus among other musicians.
Now she is leaving us to pursue academic plans elsewhere. We will miss her smiling face, her enthusiasm, her clear soprano, her joy. But we wish her well and hope her path may bring her back to us at some point. She will be the best music teacher ever. I am thankful that we had the opportunity to work with her, even though for a short time.
Then this quiet girl very softly said, "I'll sign up." That's nice. Its alright if you can't. Wait - what? You actually want to join choir? Yeah!!! And she gave me her contact information. That was three years ago, and she has been singing faithfully with us ever since.
What a joy to work with her. She also plays flute wonderfully, and I gladly added the instrumental component to our music as often as I could. She was a very enthusiastic supporter who was constantly encouraging others to join and often advertised our music endeavors on campus among other musicians.
Now she is leaving us to pursue academic plans elsewhere. We will miss her smiling face, her enthusiasm, her clear soprano, her joy. But we wish her well and hope her path may bring her back to us at some point. She will be the best music teacher ever. I am thankful that we had the opportunity to work with her, even though for a short time.
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