Clockwork Bexxar

The overwhelming fear is lifted for sure. I still know things could be bumpy, but the terror of immanent death is no longer a factor. Peace settles over me like a cloak and I ride with my friend to my appointment.

I joke with the nurses who take my vitals, telling them I am passively aggressively late for my appointment (my friend took the scenic route finding my apartment complex), and when asked what allergies I have, I say I am allergic to Bexxar. We laugh about it and one of the nurses squeezes my shoulder to let me know she totally understands.

The other nurse tells me that today will be a great day for me and that I deserve goodness and no complications. She is there to personally see to it that things go smooth as silk. She is not kidding! I receive her positive thoughts and hang on to them.

Here we go. Pre-meds both oral and IV. 40 minutes of IV fluids. Then Bexxar with fluids continuing. Three trips to the bathroom in as many hours, but only a slight tingling in the tongue and a pleasant drowsiness. If I didn't know better, I would have thought they gave me a tranquilizer to mellow me out, but I know the drugs I got and they were all either corticosteroids or antihistamine things.

I complete the Bexxar on time without having to slow the rate or stop for recovery. I am still a bit apprehensive about the second stage of going to nuclear medicine for the radioactive Bexxar. They don't push fluids or give me any preventive drugs there. But I am still trusting in God's grace, so I am able to proceed without my blood pressure going through the roof.

Based on the scans, they calculate that I don't need the full 40 cc's, only 30. The gamma radiation basically cleared my system in 71 hours. No worries about having to do a marathon of holding on either; if I need to stop and go potty, I can. We begin. Towards the end of the infusion, I develop a tingling in my feet. The doctor removes my socks and shoes to see if there is any redness. No.

Within minutes I am done. They flush my system with a bit of IV fluids, and call the nurse to deaccess my port. I am free to go and its not even 3pm yet! A far cry from last week.

I am still concerned about reactions appearing when the pretreatment drugs wear off, and indeed, along about 5pm I had more tongue and throat tingling. I keep a close watch to see if it will worsen. I drink a ton of water to help flush my system. Slowly the symptoms fade.

Then my feet take to being numb and tingling, and I stay up later than I really want to in order to monitor that. It takes a bit longer to fade. I get a few red rashes on my neck, but those go away in a relatively short time. By 3 am, the worst is over and I rest between hourly bathroom trips.

Tomorrow I suspect I will be somewhat tired, but that's OK. I am through the worst of it and other than monitoring my immune system, am on my way to recovery. YEAH!!! I have survived. No, more than survived. I have conquered.