Bexxar

I am nervous. I know because my blood pressure is high. I am so glad my pastor is with me. She totally understands what I am going through. I got a voice mail message from one of my choir members who had this same cancer over a decade ago. She just wanted to let me know she is thinking of me and praying for me today. I so appreciate the call.

Pastor and I chat comfortably while the nurse accesses my port, hooks up the IV and gives me the pretreatment medicines. Just as the Bexxar arrived, Pastor had to go, but she prayed with me before she left, anointing me with oil and entrusting me into the hands of God. I breathed a sigh of relief.

About half way through the infusion of the 'cold' Bexxar - without the radiation - my tongue begins to tingle. It spread to my throat and it starts to feel like my tongue is swelling up. They stop the infusion to figure out what to do. The physician's assistant came to talk with me, doctors were called, decisions made.

One nurse remembered a patient who had a hard time with the Bexxar, and they found it was important to keep her hydrated, so they decide to let just IV fluids run for a bit while they gave me Decadron and Benadryl IV to counteract the reaction. After awhile, the tingling and burning and swelling subsided.

They came to see how I was doing - I had expressed a thought about just stopping and going home! But they assured me that if they slowed the rate down, with the heftier drugs, I should be fine to at least finish the cold infusion. I agreed.

Once that was complete, they sent me to radiation. At first there was a lot of confusion about where I should be, and the computer was no help. After a number of calls, I finally got where I was supposed to be and checked in.

I was escorted to a special room where the walls were lined with lead - rather intimidating all on its own! Fortunately, the amount of Bexxar they were giving me in nuclear medicine was much lower than what I had upstairs in the cancer center.

My blood pressure was even higher by now, partly due to the drugs I suspect, running 185 over 95. I was quite late starting the procedure (which was supposed to begin at 2, but it was now 3:30+), and the doctor began before talking me through the process, explaining as we went to save time.

He stayed at my side while the technician began the infusion, taking my pulse and blood pressure constantly. We chatted until the tingling began in my tongue again, and they slowed the infusion down. This was going to take much longer than the half hour it should have taken. Bummer since I would not be able to go to the bathroom between the infusion and the gamma scan despite all the fluid push.

Somehow, I got through the infusion and into the scanning room with the help of everyone. The scan was easy - no tight spaces, no moving table. The scanner moves over you, and not even at a close range - at least a few inches from my body. Then we rushed to the bathroom.

While we waited for a nurse to deaccess my port - something nuclear medicine does not do - I pondered the doctor's comments. From this point on (though less urgent after such a small dose this week) I am to stay a good ten feet from my family members because of the radioactivity. In my apartment, that means being in different rooms!

I cannot use the same towels or even hang my towels near theirs. I cannot use the same dishes. And of course, no contact with babies, puppies, old people or anyone with a compromised immune system. Originally they had said for a week (my research says the gamma rays reach half life in 8 days), but with this dose, the doctor felt 3 or 4 days sufficient. Next dose will be much larger (40 compared with 5), so then I need to be more careful and it will be at least 5 days of separation and isolation.

We had already bought paper plates and cups and a gate to keep the dog in a different room. The boys will have to take care of her needs completely for the next 2 weeks. What a delightful surprise to return home and discover that the kids had completely cleaned the bathroom, straightened and vacuumed the living room, and done all the dishes. My tension had left me no energy to take care of those things before I left.

I was definitely tired due to both the stress and the drugs, and now battling a touch of diarrhea. I was also concerned because the doctor had cautioned that when the Benadryl wore off in about 6 hours, some of the symptoms might flare up again.

If that should happen - especially the huge red rash that had plastered my cheeks, ears and neck - and was spreading and itching, if my tongue started feeling fuzzy and fat or a temperature, I would have to call the hot line and possibly come in for another round of Benadryl. But he did say that the further from the time of infusion, the less severe reactions tend to be.

I reverted to childhood and watched a series of Veggie Tales dvds after calling Mom to let her know I was OK. Next week will be easier and harder. Easier because they will give me the heftier drugs upfront, keep the infusion rate at the slow speed and give me lots of fluids. Learning curves are so helpful.

Harder because the amount I will get in nuclear medicine will be a higher dose with more radiation. Then once I get through that, I will be monitored for my cell counts as my immune system is affected and "crashes" - as long as it doesn't go too low, I will be alright, and the nurse assures me that no one has had to deal with the "too low" to date.

I am happy to be safely through the test dose. I am happy to know the next round is the last round, and it should go better. I am happy to be breathing and slowly recovering from the days events. Keep those prays coming!